i'm missin the fam today. maybe it's because i haven't seen them for 3 months. maybe it's because it's easter weekend. maybe it's because i don't talk to them as much as i should. or maybe it's just because they live 4000 miles away.

i miss being able to call my mom on my walk home from school. or whenever i want. 

i miss the daily text from my dad giving me a scripture to think about, asking me about my love life, or just telling me that he loves me.

i miss asking lis for her opinions/take on what i should do in certain situations. (she knows the right answer to everything) and well, she's the only big sister i have.

i miss when trae would call me to talk to me about byu basketball. or sometimes he would just call for no reason at all. just to check up. 

i miss morg's smile and crazy personality. she's one of the funniest girls i know.

i miss mal sitting on my lap or hanging on my arm, she likes to snuggle. and i miss that.

and i miss dave's laugh. it sounds exactly like all my other brothers laughs. even when nothing is funny just him laughing will most definitely get you laughing. 

i miss watching ave do her thing. walk around. boss around. and get me to do anything she wants by  just being plain cute. :)

i better stop this before the tears start flowing.

i know my family being so far away is a good thing too. they are learning and growing so much. i can't believe how much older morgan looks. or how much portuguese my mom can speak. i can't believe how easily and happily lis handles being so far away from her family and raising a 2 year old in another country. or how much good my dad does every single day.

 them being gone has forced me to do some learning and growing on my own. so maybe i talked to both of my parents multiple times everyday. (before they left) and possibly relied on my dad a little too much, for everything. i've had to learn how to be more independent. but as independent as i am i can't always handle everything by myself. and that's where brian comes in. :) every need i have, he fills. bless his heart.  He's who i depend on. and who i know, just like my parents were, he'll be with me. through everything.

 so i am in fact grateful for the change, grateful for the 4000 mile distance, and the [sometimes] lonely days.  it's allowed me to loosen my tight grip on something really good in order to grab hold on to something else really good. the next step in my life. heavenly father knows me too well. 

thank goodness for that.